Gears of War 3

And if that headline isn’t the newest porn title off the press here in Hollywood, I’ll be disappointed in you, Uwe Boll.

Good ‘ol CliffyB was available to give us a personal demonstration of the stage demo of Gears of War 3. The first thing to know about CliffyB is that he thinks he’s hilarious. In fact, he often is, but like any self-styled comedian, he’ll throw out jokes at any random point during a given conversation. Our favorite line of the day came as I asked a seemingly innocuous query:

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3DS

Surely, by now, you’ve heard that “it works”. And it does, of course. The seemingly magical effect of depth, created by nothing more than a fancy screen and the naked eye, is a remarkable technical effort, and it signifies something that, to my knowledge, has never before been achieved by the gaming industry: a completely new technology has been primarily commercialized via a gaming device.

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rocket-knight-psn-xbla-announce

Rocket Knight tells the tale of a hero possum called Sparkster (related by 2 degrees of separation to local ButtonMasher resident Sparky) who returns to TVs after a 16 year absence following platforming adventures on the Mega Drive and Super NES. Following in the tradition of super hero sequels, Sparkster has hung up the tools of the trade with the intention of living happily ever after, but the Pigs (no, not the police), have other ideas.

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Halo: Reach

The fifth and final Bungie-developed Halo title was on display Wednesday at E3, so we took out several armed guards with ninja stars to gain access. The Bungie employees, frightened for their lives, agreed to play through a significant portion of the title.

Since the beta has been so widely played, their focused on the single-player campaign. It opened up with the beach-storming sequence shown at the Microsoft press conference, which felt very par for the course. Exciting, polished, but undeniably a staple Halo experience.

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Eorzea

Final Fantasy XIV.

The private demonstration was broken up into three phases, giving us a robust look at the sprawling, massive title.

Phase 1 was character creation. I essentially didn’t care about this section, and our time was limited, so I implored my guide to skip immediately to Phase 2.

Phase 2 was a guided tour around the beautiful city of Limsa Lominsa. It was a triple, wide-screen monitor setup in 3-D (he still would not confirm 3-D for the final product, but really, why not?), which was pretty awesome. He directed me around the absolutely beautiful city, keen to highlight the new lighting engine. He showed off the Adventurer’s Guild (where Guildleve quests are received), the Culinarian’s Guild, and some random points of interest throughout the city. I was using a standard PS3 controller, though a keyboard and mouse was arranged in front of me, and it was perfectly natural.

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There are so many things that get announced at the various press conferences and other such events that it makes it hard to see the forest for the trees. Here is a brief round up of the press releases that are clogging up my inbox and distracting me from doing anything fun.

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Portal 2

Portal, winner of (insert number above 40 here) Game of the Year awards in 2007, has quite a reputation to live up to.

Portal 2 shouldn’t have a problem.

In a private, closed-door screening, Valve showed off the second Portal to members of the press. Valve is legendary for delaying pretty much everything until whenever the hell they feel like it, so if they decided Portal 2 was ready to show off, it was ready.

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Kevin Butler! Woo!

The games shown here certainly excited a large group of people. I respect those people, and these games, but I couldn’t help but feel like this conference was for someone other than myself.

In these days of the elusive grandma dollars, press conferences seem to be divided into two distinct phases: for gamers, and for non-gamers. Sony followed this distinction to a T (perhaps only reaching a midway point with Little Big Planet 2), but there was just something a bit off about the entire presentation. Despite the goodly sized number of games and reveals, the pacing of the conference was uneven and slow, especially after the punchy Nintendo conference just prior.

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skywardsword

It’s here you Zelda geeks. Setting up the Nintendo conference, The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword makes full use of the MotionPlus controller. Lots of swinging and gesture controls for each of Link’s gadgets. Miyamoto ran into a few technical hiccups during the presentation but it appears it was wireless interference (that was his excuse anyway!).

Due out next year.

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After lying through the teeth about not attending E3 this year, David Jaffe took the stage at the end of the Sony press conference. But not before an ice cream truck drove on stage with a Sweet Tooth impersonator behind the wheel. So there we go, a new Twisted Metal Game for PS3!

The game looks pretty rad, featuring helicopters, sniper rifles and a new game mode that looks like a lot of fun. Trailer and gameplay videos after the break.

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